Friday, September 23, 2011

Fivebucks lover

Toddler has gotten into this whole Starbucks thing. Any time we go through the drive-thru all I hear from the third row is, "Cookie? Momma, I want a cookie, please?!" Of course, Daddy's cake pop will also do.

Infant is starting to allow other people to hold and entertain her. Note: you must be of the entertaining sort or she will come to the conclusion that Mommy needs to be found ASAP. 

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Let's have a picnic

This afternoon we returned from running errands and Toddler said, "C'mon, Daddy. Let's go to my room and have a picnic." So, there was a picnic. Many stuffed animals were in attendance. I heard it was a good time. 

Daddy ended up seating most of the guests. Puppy Puppet was the entertainer of the bunch.

This is where Dad resigns himself to the fact that Daddy's Girl is also a fan of picnics and, possibly, tea parties. Have fun with that one, Daddy! 

Infant's bath is a very good pirate ship. A hilarious one, at that.

Leave it to my kid to try and have a shower in the middle of Home Depot. Luckily, she didn't go down the toilet display aisle.  

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Finders Eaters

Pretty certain the bread didn't come that way, unless the company has a large rodent problem. I seem to have a large Toddler problem. 

This is the face I get when I move further than the approved two foot radius from the Infant. It's like some sort of protective forcefield (or is it a black hole?) and once you move out of it, all is not well. 

Further proof that said forcefield exists. Once I moved back into its embrace, the Infant was, once again, at peace with the World. It's good to be informed of limitations. I'd hate to unwittingly put myself in danger of disappearing - or whatever else happens - when One leaves the protection for too long.  

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

First Solids

I decided it was possible to run to the bathroom during breakfast this morning, only to hear a notorious maniacal laugh coming from the kitchen. It could only mean on thing: disaster. 

I was correct. Infant turned five months old today (Happy Five Months!). Seems she was also introduced to her first solid food. Thank you, Toddler.  I do believe the American Academy of Pediatrics begs to differ.

Monday, September 5, 2011

The Catch Up

Last week Toddler was hospitalized a couple days after petting a dog. She had a severe reaction which led to her airway swelling shut. 

 The hospital ward treated her very well. It'll be a few more days before her life is back to normal, but she's getting there. 

"Look, Momma! I shower. All clean." Well, at least she is not yet physically tall enough to actually turn on the shower. I'm guessing it won't be long before Miss figures out a way around that handicap. 

This is why Mom is in charge of hairstyles and not Dad. The vacuum is not an appropriate styling tool. I don't care what Papa says, it's not an all-purpose piece of equipment. 

I have two more thieves in my garden. Between my husband and the caterpillars, I am not sure how much longer I will have a dill supply. That plant is no longer with us.

Infant will be five months old this week. I can't seem to recall when the explosive diapers really stop, but right now it seems like a very distant future. You forget how much laundry goes along with something so tiny (and loud). 

The Opportunist, Toast. Toddler's car seat needed a thorough cleaning after her rush trip to the Emergency Room and all the ralphing that occurred on the way there. And now it needs a good lint brush to resolve that awful hairball problem. Oh, right, that's Toast sitting there.

Toddler Opportunist. Although, I suppose it is perfectly acceptable payback she uses something of the Feline Opportunists in order to gain her own achievements after what he did to her seat cover. One must say goodbye to the Piggies prior to leaving for evening Church services. Bless them.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Here Bunny

Toddler found her sister's "lovey" that is a bunny rabbit/blanket morphed child cuddle drool thing. She decided it needed to make nice with the chipmunk in the flower bed. It is also now sporting a very attractive shade of pink sidewalk chalk across its face - the bunny, that is. I'll sneak it inside and wash it in the morning.

 Infant has discovered Top Shot. She approves. Who could blame her? Beginning of the season. Lots going on. Although, I would prefer she discover a suitable bedtime. This evening was clearly payback for last night's 19:00 sleep coma. Oh well.

I kept blaming Toddler for messing around in the drapes. Guilty Toast isn't so fond of the flash. Honestly, I don't believe Innocent Toast would care for it either. The flash just seems un-cat-friendly all around. Pity. 

Monday, August 22, 2011

Sisters aren't friends forever

"Oh! Hi, Mom! Did you hear my shouting, by chance?" Who didn't? Now that Infant has learned to roll she has also learned what it is like to be stuck...and helpless. Not that she wasn't helpless already. I think she quite enjoys that fact. I will give probiotics all the credit in the World for helping immensely with her colic.  

Judging by the amount of pure joy and enthusiasm that Toddler has when goes to fetch her sister, I cannot decide whether she is merely excited to see her or determined to taunt her. "Ha ha, you're stuck in a crib! How do you like jail, Gremlin?"  The latter makes the most sense.

I shall retain these photos for the sake of Evidence. Not that I don't already hear, "She's touching me! She kicked me!" and so forth, but this is for those lengthy car rides and arguments that can only happen between siblings. You did get along once. For a short period of time. And I liked it. 

Now that it has been documented that they could play nicely, let the hair-pulling commence.  

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Don't ruin your...

Church hair. This morning Toddler and Infant must have enacted a formulated plan to rise early. Why they choose these seemingly arbitrary times to change their sleep schedules I do not know. Actually, I do know. Because they can. Dad left the lotion in reach...again. This is what I get for putting my contacts in.

On a side note, Toddler did very well when we dropped her off at her church room. She's never been away from us in that sort of setting, so I have to claim Proud Mom.  Infant did well during service, aside from hanging her head off my lap, face toward the ground and loudly cooing/grunting "Ahhhhhhhhh! ARGGGGH. Ahhhhhh!"

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Why we should listen

Toddler follows after Mom, in that she must learn things the hard way - even when properly forewarned. Countless times a day I hear myself mentioning "that's not a toy" but it appears that I am the only one whose ears that statement falls on with any comprehension or care. Oh, yes, she is fine. Damaged pride. Seth Rogen hair.

 Infant is coming along nicely with her developments. Unfortunately, she chooses to learn new things (see: how to roll over completely) at times such as 05:00. Then, of course, she has worked up an appetite and demands Mom's attention. What else would one expect of Four Months on Earth?

For the better part of the evening I could not figure out from where Goldfish kept appearing. Daddy's neglect to put them back in their original hiding spot, I note. No, it is not acceptable or condoned that Toddler stands on chairs. Toddler isn't even supposed to touch chairs. I imagine that's why she does it. 

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Diaper free

Infant is four months old now and starting to develop a personality all her own. Luckily, it is her saving grace. The colicky, inconsolable behavior is s.l.o.w.l.y. becoming a thing of the past. She's quite happy when she gets to be without a diaper! Imagine that. 

Infant has discovered face mapping. Unfortunately, Infant has disgustingly wet, drool-filled sausage fingers that she is more than happy to wipe all over your face. She also finds it amusing to undo Mom's hair. After four months of knowing everything she does not like it is nice to, finally, figure out some things she appreciates. And if it makes Dictator Baby happy then it'll just have to be at whomever's expense.  As usual. 

Fancy feline

This morning Toddler learned that cat food is a poor breakfast substitute. She also seems to be closely modeling herself after Wolverine in the hairstyle department. Wish I could say that the cat food has been properly cleaned up by said Toddler, but it is not so. Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to vacuuming I go. 

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Things you say

There are things you say as Mom that you never thought you'd hear come out of your own mouth. Things like: Don't put lotion in your sister's hair, don't eat out of the garbage, don't eat popcorn out of the parking lot, don't pull the cat's hair out, don't feed the guinea pigs your finger, then! and numerous others. Each time I find myself pointing out something of this sort I can't help but wonder about the family IQ. 


The Infant had her first round of vaccines yesterday. My husband called a few hours prior to let me know that he could not come along and help out because his own clinic was so busy. Of course, I thought I had everything in order only to get there and notice that I had forgotten the Toddler's shoes. This wouldn't be such an issue if I didn't have to cross two parking lots in order to get to our clinic. A rather kind Soldier stopped, turned around, walked all the way back to the clinic with us and opened all the doors. Bless his heart. 

Here is Mr. Mom is all his capable glory. I'm not sure which of us was more afraid that I would slip and drop the Infant, but he did a good job getting us all inside that terrible place (Wal Mart) safely. 

We took a family trip to the Zoo with friends of ours. The Infant thoroughly enjoyed herself, as seen here. 

The Toddler also enjoyed herself. Of course, my husband kept badgering me for a time when we were leaving and I wrongly chose nap time, thinking Oh-Whiney-One would sleep in the car on the way there. I was oh-so-wrong and we all had to listen to a massive amount of, "No, I don't want to!" and "No, thanks!" throughout the afternoon. 

Oddly enough, her favorite part was being let loose in the chicken coop. Some things I will just never understand. Perhaps we should consider investing in an annual pass or... buy a farm?

Thwarted Thievery

I have come to understand, the hard way, that a two-year-old does not appreciate her sneaky efforts being thwarted. Today Toddler came to the realization that the Goldfish had been moved to another, Top Secret location. It did not go over well. As most things do not when they are not product of the Mastermind.

 Timeout has proven to be a somewhat ineffective method of curbing this sort of behavior. It seems "timeout" has become a safe haven. If there is ever a problem that she knows will result in a punishment the common response is, "timeout, please!?" to avoid any further corrective action. This puts me at a bit of a loss. I can't have her voluntarily attending timeout. That mirrors the same issue as purposely sinning and then asking forgiveness. Conundrum, this one.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Box Girl

There is some bizarre, magnetic force to boxes when it comes to a two year old. This one seems rather proud of herself for earlier events in the day (see: locking Mom out of the house).

I suppose there has to come a day where Mom is locked out in her pajamas, without a cell phone and or a way in. Unfortunately, the Hungry Infant didn't see the purpose of this exercise. She was left to fend for herself in the 15 minutes it took Mom to find an open window in which to heave herself through, only to find the Toddler lounging on the sofa, eating Goldfish and watching Ramsay's F Word.